About Valerie A Campbell
I struggled for years to find myself worthy of love, attracting guys who used me, abused me, then disappeared on me! Giving far too much than I received; striving to meet their needs and not my own.
==> Breaking my heart over and over again… Maybe one can relate to this?
Yet within myself there was a voice that said ”you can do better, you’ve got to stop wasting time and lipstick on frogs… you need to do better!” I had witnessed women who attracted men who treated them like queens, like royalty! And I wanted to know what makes them different? What’s their SECRET?
As if in answer to this question, the universe ushered me in the direction of the answer. I’d had an abusive past, so I found myself attending counselling and slowly began to build a better relationship with myself. There I would discover that ‘even though I was lost I hadn’t lost my value’.
I delved into the world of spirituality and self-help and began reading tons of books to further continue the renewing of my mind. Then one day something truly pivotal happened.
It felt like the universe spewed me into another world, onto another planet – Mars! Now for anyone that’s read ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’, you’ll understand! You see I landed a job at Environmental Services. I was on a planet of men. My role was to manage a 120 ALL-MALE team. I was the ONLY female manager and this would serve as my ‘school’ for the next 10 years in ‘men management!’
I would raise my hand in my ‘unsuspecting classroom’ and ask questions; you see I wasn’t just their manager; they became my ‘big brothers’ my confidante and I theirs. Throughout the years my love life ‘tests’ got easier as my teachers taught me well. In fact I remember one guy said ‘Valerie I’d be banned from the round table for sharing this’ as he intentionally broke down man code so that I could be better prepared for my interactions with men.
These codes were ‘secrets’ to a lot of women! In fact they revealed the 10 biggest mistakes women make that turn them off! I learnt that the women they appreciated weren’t always nice; these women had a certain kind of energy about them.
>> I called it the SECRET VIBE. <<
I began to understand the power of my feminine vibe and so I’d switch it up to compel my male staff to do that, to bring out the best in them, to do that extra work that my male counterparts couldn’t do. I would naturally pass on my ‘discoveries’ to my girlfriends, and as they implemented they too would have guys respond to them in a quality way.
Friends were loving it and referring to me as ‘the vibes lady’…these days it’s just Lady V. That’s how the nickname stuck! We would go out to events and they’d observe the behaviour of women, whilst on their dates, and lean over and say ‘do you think, she’s got that vibe?’ It became a talking point! Word got around… and soon I began to be an advice line to women needing dating and courtship advice. One day a friend said ‘I wish we had a manual on this!’
I thought I had the secret vibe sussed I was dating somewhat effectively until I met Anthony…
I took my time to get to know him, I wanted us to form an emotional connection, by then I’d read the most prominent books on relationships, we didn’t become intimate until 9 months later. However I broke my own boundaries and let him in. I lost my crown and he began to treat me in a low value way.
Almost 2 years in he broke up with me, offering me just a ‘sexual relationship’. How low had I become?? I was devastated. I was so heartbroken I felt I would break; as one day I crumpled in a heap on the bathroom floor, curled in a ball of pain so bad, that to stifle my cries that wracked my body, I pressed a towel in my mouth so my daughter couldn’t hear me…
I thought I knew how to handle guys until I met the one that I really liked.
It was through the weight of this pain that I wrote ‘the manual’ my friend had asked for, the book She’s Got That Vibe.
It was a cathartic experience and in my recovery from it, my inner light reminded me that I could never attract more than how I authentically felt about myself – that there was no such thing as Mr Right and Mr Wrong, that there was only me and my reflection of me.
SO what changed?
Well I realised that I was the cause of wrecking my chances of effortlessly attracting a meaningful relationship and so I changed me, deep down. I began to respect my boundaries and put me first. I put into practice ‘love your neighbour as you love yourself’. Now I possess and project that secret vibe that I coveted in women so many years prior and now I too am loved for who I authentically am.
I WANT other women to attain that secret vibe too!
So I now share the knowledge that I accumulated, with single, smart and ambitious women and SHORTCUT the process for them through my unique V.I.B.E.S Formula so that they step up and take responsibility for breaking the pattern of sabotaging their love life… and not have them WASTE TIME trying to figure it all out on their own!
