SGTV Ground Rule 20: Girlfriend, You Better Call Tyrone!
When you practice ‘listening’ and not talking too much on a date, you will quickly learn that there will be less to regret when you do so. If you know you’re a talker, practice listening, mystery and an air of composure.
Biologically speaking, sperm chases the egg not the other way round so it’s not for you to seek to impress him. Let him woo you, don’t call him, let him call you. If you’re feeling the urge to call him, because you want to hear his sexy voice, don’t! before you upset the natural order of things, try calling a friend or replay a voice-mail of his that you saved earlier…and girls, you know we have all done it! So, if you must call a man, you better call Tyrone! call an ex-boyfriend or male friend that you’re not emotionally tied with and so have nothing to lose!
Remember how you can end up hurting when you pursue a man?
Now, with that new date of yours, what about ‘ending the phone call first’ rule before he does…say after 10 minutes? when he calls and it’s time to go sweetly say ‘It was nice talking to you, got to run’ Why? because your time is precious and you don’t want to appear as if you have all the time in the world to be talking to him…as if you’re not up to your own business, which you do have going on? even if you don’t!
You think this is playing games? Go ahead and treat your dates as you do your women friends, all gushy and wearing your heart on your sleeves and always available and tell me how far you get.
I’m not saying you should be an inauthentic woman. In fact I’m all for authenticity and showing your true nature, but you need to relax and pace it out, to the right man and in stages. One way to kill the start of a relationship is ‘Too much, Too Soon’. You can read this chapter in my book She’s Got That Vibe.
The reason for these rules is for the setting of your boundaries. These ground-rules are here to preserve your self-esteem and to get you what you want. When you implement the ground-rules it allows the men who love you to float to the top and for the ones that are disingenuous to fall to the bottom and out of your life.
Imagine this scenario:
Jennifer wants him to ask her out, she gets impatient and she asks him out and he declines, makes excuses or worse, as he has the upper hand, asks Jennifer to guarantee that she give him ‘some’if he accepts her offer…cause he sees her as desperate and that he has nothing to lose.
So MAYBE Jennifer is now feeling she shouldn’t have initiated or made that phone call…
Newsflash! If he isn’t calling you, asking you out, he’s not interested. Period. That’s the reality. Accept it and keep on moving!
You may be thinking…’oh he’s just shy’…if he wants you badly enough, he’ll find the guts to let you know how he feels, he doesn’t need your help to ‘pursue’ him into doing so..
When you go against the natural flow of the universe it has an interesting way of working. Going against the biological law that ‘eggs don’t chase sperm’ and that its ‘sperm that chases egg’, will not work in your favour. Working in harmony with this law is the universe’s way of making way for the right man to come into your life, someone who will love you for you. The right guy will call you and ask you out because he wants to and not because he’s been ‘chased’ into it.
Whenever you allow a man to have the upper hand because you’ve acted out of flow, you are in a position to get hurt. As an SGTV woman you don’t ask/pursue a person to date you or love you. We accept that some men don’t want us and that it’s absolutely no discredit or testament to our character. It is what it is. You’re not meant for each other….No need to try to understand him…you’re not his therapist.
The ground-rules that I mention in this blog are for your protection and are not just applicable in the way you handle men in your life but also for how you handle all types of people in your life, whether it’s family, friends, workmates. Don’t chase. Go with nature’s flow.
Just trust in the flow and practice these ground-rules until you’re good at it.
Practice, practice practice! Soon they’ll become a part of you and you’ll step into the glorious woman that you are.
Adios Amigos, until next time!
As usual, please leave a comment and tell me what you think about this article.
Leave a Reply
Want to join the discussion?Feel free to contribute!